this summer just wasn't my summer

i just watched a documentary called "the boys of baraka." i encourage everyone to watch it, but only if you want to be both inspired and devestated at the same time. it is about a couple of 12 year old boys from baltimore that get sent to school in kenya for a year, and what ultimately happens to them. one of the boys, richard, describes coming home for the summer as this:
"this summer just wasn't my summer. it ran like water."


i started school today, and it made me realize how i am confused as to what happened with my summer. i feel like nothing was accomplished, no ends tied up, no moral or spiritual lessons discovered and applied. it just meandered on, and i tried to live each day as it came. in fact, i think i was constantly trying to make it seem or feel or be better than it actually was.

well, it was a lame summer.

i'm really excited for the fall, and not only because i get to wear a scarf and drink even more coffee and read interesting books, but because i am excited for change. school, in a way, inspires a sense of change for me. it helps me to think, and it helps me to second guess my own thought processes.

i don't live in baltimore. i don't have drug dealers or an abusive mom or cops or a dad who is in prison to deal with.

i just have clackamas.