the man.
i work for the man. the starbucks man.
there are a lot of things that bug me about working for the man.
usually, though, the thing that bugs me the most are the people that i serve coffee to.
i live in clackamas, and serve coffee to 40 year old men.
i am not very cute, and so i don't get hit on very much. that's the good news.
the bad news is that these men treat me in two very different ways.
way number one: they ignore me. (i rather like this one).
way number two: they talk about themselves. (this one makes my heart curdle and immediately strengthens my resolve to live and work in africa. because, and i'm just spitballing here, but i think that people in africa probably don't spend 4 dollars on a drink and wear expensive suits and then still feel the need to impress the uneducated barista who served them the said drink)
a disturbing trend that i have noticed this christmas break is the need for these men to talk to me about their wives. sometimes, they get their wives a drink. if it's a complicated drink, they always mess it up when they are ordering and get embarrassed when i say it back to them in the "correct" starbucks order. or they ask for a straw for the venti extra hot nonfat whatever that i just made. or they take the wrong drink that i just place on the bar with a clear explanation of what was inside.
these men never apologize.
they just shrug their shoulders, roll their eyes slightly and smile at me. some shake their head in soft besument, and every single one says this:
"i don't know, it's for the wife."
and then i swear that each and every one winks at me.
what did it for me was this businessman who came in two days ago. he ordered a venti nonfat peppermint mocha ("i don't know, it's for the wife!") and then i dutifully asked if he wanted whip cream on it. he looked extremely puzzled for 2 seconds, and then said: "oh, what the hell. put a little whip cream on it. she's already got a lot of junk in her trunk!"
and then he winked.
my only defense against these kind of interactions is that i have taken up the habit of never looking people in the eye.
2 comments:
I think that's pretty nice of them to wink at you. Better than say, sticking their tongue at you... or on you. Better than them giving you the "bird"... or a large obnoxious bird. Better than them giving you an invitation to come over while the wife is out with her venti peppermint whatever so that he can see your junk. You know?
So, I think,
I like the wink.
P.S. The secret word verification is "trivy"... "trivy".
Men wink to stay above you. above me. above whoever. But we know the truth: winks don't solve a damn thing. winks don't fix the bitterness that the businessman has toward his wife for obtaining as much junk as she has in her trunk. winks fix shit, and in my opinion, should only be used simultaneously with a jovial thumbs-up. Because the man neglected to raise his thumb along side of the wink, he is assumed to be a bastard. It's people like that who give humans a bad rep. And it's overanalytical people like me who give people a bad rep. Everybody gives everybody else a bad rep. AGH. so let's hang out some time soon. I left a bag of chips and a pack of gum at your house on firday.
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