did you know you would be my savior?

well, i know i've been lame. don't remind me. enough with your snarky little comments, krispin, i haven't seen you blogging very much either. the days are too full, literally and figuratively, and i just want to nap with all of my family surrounding me.
christmas was wonderful this year.
my family are fantastic, and i loved all of the strays that came our way this year. krispin has been staying at my house, which is fun for all of us and a bit overwhelming for him (he described me and my two sisters as "vain". he just doesn't understand the joys of talking about one's appearence). and then dave came over for christmas day and it was like he was an honorary strannigan. and then we went to the somali's apartment and majuma looked happy, really happy, for maybe two seconds. and i was thrilled to my bones, and it was as every christmas should be. i was blessed unbelievably by my parents, and then we were all able to bless others.
my sisters are leaving soon and the sadness is starting to come.
but life moves on, christmas the day came and went, and i still know why the day means so much to me.
i am free, i am redeemed.
merry christmas ya'll.

the way i feel inside.

this has been one of the worst weeks in my life.
i hope that in retrospect it turns out to be the beginning of some of the best.

"i" said the sheep, with curly wool.

i changed my blog for christmas because i'm so excited the season is here but i'm too busy to celebrate it in any other way right now. i have to come up with the philosophy of philemon, read I and II kings, I and II chronicles, ezra, nehemiah, and esther by friday, write a 25 page paper over the weekend, study for 4 different finals, and manage not to disappoint any friends/family/signifigant others in the process.
but my life's not that bad.
today i studied, got frustrated in class, went for a lovely walk in the lovely air with a lovely boy, studied more, got less frustrated in class, and then i went to little somalia. hassan was in the hospital again, so i took majuma, mohammed, and jama to visit him. we wandered around providence, me leading a group of elderly african muslims through a very catholic hospital. finally, we found him, crumpled up in a little bed. majuma had cooked and brought hassan food and she held his skinny wrist in her hand and didn't say anything. jama and hassan had a very long conversation, and i didn't catch a word of it. when i pressed, they just told me that he was "good".

it was one of the highlights of my week. don't ask me to put words to it.
the hospital was all decorated for christmas, and was very beautiful. i felt wonderful looking at all of the lights, and very fragile.

it's christmas! that means sisters and muppets and hot chocolate and time to read books but it also means being clear-eyed and purposeful, remembering to live each day in the light that this is all a shadow. this sounds much more imposing than i want it to. i can't help it. i feel free.