thursday is my birthday, i hope that they will show

well, my birthday was a couple of days ago. usually it is a time of reflection for me, a time of thinking about where i have been and where i am going. this birthday, however, i did none of that. i was busy all morning, alone in a swirl of traffic, homework, class, and working at the library. and then there were friends and davids bridal (bridesmaid) dresses to deal with. and more driving. and then there was a very fun birthday party with chuck e cheese and i felt alternately extremely young (i rocked the ddr) and extremely old (i am now 23 and engaged to some one 3 years my junior). thankfully, my family prayed over me, which was wonderful.
but i never once sat down with christ to talk to him.
today i woke up more stressed than ever about school and my procrastinatin' ways. but in spite of all of that, i knew knew knew that i had to be alone with the lord.
so i did. it didn't fix all of my problems; in fact, i still have loads of stuff to do. i'm still selfish and i eat too much food and i let resentment gnaw at my bones and if left to my own devices i would sleep all the day long . . . but that's ok. i am more than the sum of my flaws.
i am a believer, and i have been asked to persevere to the end.

sorry if this all sounds so preachy. this is what happens when you mix real life with bible college. i feel so conflicted but there is the river of truth that runs underneath everything.
and for that, i am grateful.