a stream of conciousness blog.

i just looked in a mirror and noticed that my face turns red very easily. like when i am stressed, or excited, or passionate, or when i laugh at funny people. which seems to happen all the time these days. and you know what? i hate being in charge of things--anything, really--and this seems to bring no end of amusement to god the father. i have gotten back into the habit of watching movies by myself again, and i always laugh out loud and then look around for someone to nudge with my elbow, but no one is ever there. i am usually only mildly dissapointed. i really like the concept and practice of missions in general. however, i don't really like the missions conference at my school, because the speakers are disjointed and don't know who they are speaking to or what they are supposed to be saying. they rely a little too much on emotional manipulation. thank you, i've had my fill. somali refugee children are mysteries to me, and i don't understand what makes them sit quietly and do homework and what makes them act like children of satan himself. this week, they erred on the angelic side. i count my blessings one day at a time, just like my momma taught me. i never knew that any of this would happen. i realized today that i am not a patient person at all. i want to rush everything, including this life.